Jim Caviezel: “If it wasn’t for Medjugorje, I would have played this role.” Often 2

Continuation…

– When did you first visit Medjugorje?

– When the filming of the film ended in Malta, I decided to go to Medjugorje. When I was 20 years old, my inner voice told me that I should become an actor. One day I talked to my father and he said: “If God wants to make you a priest, it’s a priest. Why do you think He wants you to become an actor?” I did not understand him then.

And again I asked myself this question: does God want me to be an actor and make a lot of money and be rich? I was aware of the imbalance that reigned in the world between those who had a lot of money and people who were barely surviving. I had to make a choice – to serve wealth, which does not give eternal happiness, or to serve God, who wants to lead me through life?
Then Medjugorje reminded me of Bethlehem, and I thought that just as Jesus was born in a small town, the Virgin Mary also appeared in a small poor village in the middle of the mountains. The four days I spent in Medjugorje were a turning point in my life. From the very beginning, I was impressed by how much people in Medjugorje pray. It reminded me of a baseball camp, but here you don’t play one game a day, but always, constantly, again. Just like in school, where you read not only once a day, but all the time, repeatedly.
During the first days in Medjugorje, I felt inner restlessness during prayer because I was not used to praying so much, and I asked God to help me. And after the four days I spent there, all I wanted to do was pray. When I prayed, I felt oneness with God. I wish every Catholic had the same experience as I did! Maybe even in childhood I experienced something similar, but I have already forgotten what it was like. And now I could feel it again.
When I returned home, I tried to continue living in the same spirit. In our family, we try to experience all the sacraments together. When we take the children to school, we always pray the rosary; and sometimes when I don’t start praying, my son starts praying first.
When I came to Medjugorje for the second time, I expected to experience the same sensations again as during my first visit, but now everything was different. One afternoon, some pilgrims invited me to go with them to Fr. Yozo Zovka, to the city of Shikori Breg. My wife wanted that more than anything else. I was not personally acquainted with Fr. Yozo, but I’ve heard many impressive stories about him. I met him. He put his hands on my shoulders. Then to my heart. I put my hands on his head. It was at this moment that I felt these words in my heart: “I love you, my brother. This man loves God.” Suddenly Fr. Yozo turned to his interpreter and asked her in Croatian who I was and expressed his desire to speak with me. That’s when our friendship began, which continues to this day.
It was when we finished filming The Passion of the Christ, and at that point I was feeling a lot of conflict about the movie.

– Why did you feel that way and how is Medjugorje connected with the film “The Passion of the Christ”?

– You are probably familiar with the expression “cross the Rubicon” (make a final decision. – approx. translation) It means that there is no way back, you have reached a place from which there is no return. The film “The Passion of the Christ” was this Rubicon for me. When we started filming it, I was 33, just like Jesus. I kept asking myself if I was fit to play Jesus. Ivan Dragitsevich encouraged me and said that the Lord does not always choose the best, and this can be seen in his, Ivan’s, example. If it wasn’t for Medjugorje, I would never have accepted this role; because it was in Medjugorje that my heart was opened to prayer and sacraments. If I wanted to play Jesus well, I knew I had to be very close, close to Him. He went to confession and adoration of the Holy Gifts every day. Mel Gibson also came to the Divine Service, provided it was in Latin. And that was good, because that’s how I learned Latin.
New temptations constantly appeared, with which I had to fight, and in that inner struggle I felt real peace more than once. For example, when the Virgin Mary comes to me and I say to her: “Look, I am doing everything in a new way.” We replayed this scene four times because I kept feeling like I was standing too much in the foreground. And then someone hit a cross and it dislocated my shoulder. Because of that sudden, sharp and deep pain, I lost my balance and fell under the weight of the cross. I fell face down in the dust, and suddenly blood gushed from my nose and mouth. I repeated the words that Jesus said to His mother: “Behold, I make all things new.” I felt excruciating pain when I picked up the cross again and realized how dear it is to me. From that moment I stopped playing, you could already see Christ himself. He responded to my prayers: “I want people to see You, not me, Jesus.”
It was thanks to the continuous prayer of the rosary (and I don’t even know how many rosaries I prayed

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Jim Caviezel: “If it wasn’t for Medjugorje, I would have played this role.”

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