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My childhood was pretty good. I am from a large family, we had 5 children. My parents were believers, they raised us in a religious spirit and with love for God. We regularly attended Holy Mass, like children, received all the sacraments. From my father, I transferred my love to music, which later led me to the choir and the theater. God is always part of my life. I felt wonderful in the church and with gratitude went to sing and perform in the name of God. I grew up, entered high school and met new people. However, my ways began to diverge from his faith.
I didn’t want to go to church. I did it out of duty to my parents, who asked me to do it. Instead of going to church, I started going to discos and bars with my friends, I forgot about Jesus. I completely pushed Him out of my life. At the age of 17, I met my future husband. Although he came from a Catholic family, his attitude towards faith was the same as mine. He also forgot about faith in his teenage years. We got to know each other, fell in love, and over time came an impure relationship that lasted for many years. We took it for granted, because everyone around us lived and worked like this. It seemed natural to us. We both studied, then started working, years passed, and somewhere deep inside I felt that something was wrong. Our parents suffered when they saw that we were living unmarried. Our relationship was like a caterpillar track – full of quarrels that constantly escalated .After 7 years of relationship, a crisis came that separated us for almost a year. But our paths connected again, we felt a huge attraction to each other, which, however, was stronger than true love itself. I got pregnant from this passion. During pregnancy, my husband pointed out to me that he does not want a church marriage, that we are still young and why do we need documents – it is just a formality. If so, we will register the marriage only in the presence of two witnesses. Those were his words. Harsh words. In the silence in the corner of my heart I felt a lot of pain, as if he had stabbed me in the heart. However, I proudly raised my head and said that it’s okay, I won’t push him into a church marriage, because he should want it too. There’s no way we’re going to do a wedding just because I’m pregnant!! With this, we caused a lot of pain to both our parents and ourselves. My pride and arrogance were stronger. We had a beautiful girl named Lea. My husband was passionate about his work, he worked as a self-employed auto mechanic, so we only saw each other in the evenings. I was often alone with my daughter. Sometimes I thought he forgot that he had a daughter at home. He continued to live his free life with friends and company, going out with them on weekends, parties and events. We were so far down his priority scale, I felt he didn’t care about us. I suffered because I saw families that spent time together, how the husband took care of them, how they could live together, but it just didn’t work out for us. I still did not understand where the problem was. I worried more and more, fell into sadness and depression. I tried to explain it to him, but in vain. He was not ready to change his lifestyle. From that great patience began depression, night worries and health problems. I began to wither – physically and spiritually. I was looking for help. I tried esoterics, visited anyone who could help me get out of depression. Nothing helped. I didn’t have the courage to enter the church because I felt unclean and, of course, I couldn’t even take Holy Communion. I was afraid to confess my life. I felt that I did not belong there, and I had nothing to look for there, that I was impure and unworthy of God. It never occurred to me to turn to Him who alone could help me, Who alone could ease my suffering. But this was probably my thorny path that I had to go through. Today I look at it completely differently, without pain and with gratitude. The Lord was constantly watching over me. He called me because of our daughter, who was about to start preparing for her first Holy Communion. In my heart I felt that this cannot go on any longer, that I am not coping, that I want to approach the Lord again with a pure heart and the knowledge that I can be proud of being a Catholic and that I no longer want to hurt my parents or myself. I managed to convince my husband that we must enter into the sacrament of marriage, otherwise our lives will never change. I begged him to do it for our daughter. I don’t know what happened, but after 10 years he agreed that the marriage would be in a church. However, it was a huge fight. A few days before the wedding, the man was unbearable. We argued day after day. Everything bothered him, he was under enormous stress and tension. There were moments when I cried that I couldn’t do it anymore. The ceremony was planned in my native church, the celebration was wonderful. It was the best day of my life, not because of my dress and the fun, that was great too, but because of one moment in the church. After confession and Holy Communion, I wept with happiness and, fixing my gaze on Jesus on the cross, I asked Him for forgiveness for the fact that it took so much time, that I offended and tormented Him so much, My most dear and beloved Father. After the wedding, things started to change, but it took longer. Every Sunday, my daughter and I went to church, but alone. My husband did not need to go with us, and when we called him, he often said that he was busy and tired. After all, only old grandmothers go to church. I was very sorry. During the Holy Mass, I often asked the Mother of God for my husband to convert, to feel what I feel in my heart. I really wanted all three of us to be in the church. Unobtrusively, she began to tell him about the miracles and apparitions of the Virgin Mary in Medjugorje. I don’t know what happened, but the day came when my husband told me he would go to church with us on Sunday. I was shocked. I caught him reading about Medjugorje, and later, seeing how my daughter and I were praying the Rosary in the evening, he came to us so that we could teach him too. I cannot describe this joy in words. It is simply impossible to describe. The man changed from day to day. He stopped being nervous, started coming home early from work, and we started talking a lot about faith. We have peace. We began to spend a lot of time together, depression, fears and even our frequent quarrels at home went away. He ordered a Bible, and now it is the most precious book we have at home. Every evening we pray the Rosary to the Mother of God, and with tears in my eyes, in silent wonder, I thank the Virgin Mary and the dear Father for not forgetting me, for their mercy and love. On August 16, 2019, we completed the 33-day preparation for consecration to the Holy Trinity through the Virgin Mary. The blessing of this day changed our lives and we no longer want to live without this unconditional love. If I could, I would shout to the whole world, to all young people who believe that they do not need marriage, how wrong they are, that neither a psychologist, nor an esotericist, no one, only our Mother and Father will help them. They are always ready to comfort us and give us love. They always pick us up when we fall. Out of gratitude to the Theotokos, my Mother, I will tell as many young people as possible about God’s merciful love. In these difficult times, the purity of the family is the most precious treasure.
Monika and Petyo